Declaration of squish-dependence â€“ it is impossible to squish alone
Heart tribe vibe guide
Â The rights of squish : comfortable, heard,
Squish Culture Code : Purr with Purpose
- If you are un-comfortable, move
Respect your own sensation as a call to action and trust that others will do the same (act in accordance) : allow yourself to respond to attraction and repulsion without judgement or coercion : cultivate intuition : follow your bliss, redirect touch you do not enjoy such that it can be made more enjoyable : find what is uncomfortable and actively engage with changing it, you have to speak up for your boundaries, permission â€“ permissive,
- Safety doesnâ€™t happen by accident
Practice active consent : Celebrate consent by asking permission, and giving time and space for others to check in with themselves : clarify - ask specific questions, when in doubt ask : check the messages being broadcast through both verbal and non-verbal communication, explore your snuggle buddies communication style â€“ get to know their non-verbal yesses an nos, find your voice, learn what you like, container curation, what makes you feel safe?
- Find freedom within boundaries
Donâ€™t take other peopleâ€™s boundaries personally as you are not the source or catalyst of them (other peopleâ€™s boundaries may not be beginning with you, you are just arriving at them after the unfolding of their history â€“ not source or catalyst), No means yes to something else : proactively manage your boundaries : knowing your no allows you to own your full yes : celebrate boundaries as healthy self-care, consent is qualitative â€“ details add depth â€“ expound upon if your boundary fixed, flexible, if there is a speedbump before the boundary before youâ€™re approaching, boundary is also a container â€“ boundaries that we have define oneself â€“ knowing your boundaries is knowing yourself,
- Invitation with clear Expectation
Clarify the underlying intentions / motivations behind your offer so that others can make an informed decision. This allows a deepening into the intimacy of the share. When a boundary is set, clarify the need behind the boundary so that it can be proactively supported, making it far less likely that subsequent boundaries will need to be established. Â Verbalizing boundaries are a historical marker that a boundary has been crossed in the past. Allow space without attachment to hear the response, whether it is no, a request for adjustment, or a counter-offer.
Corollary : Invitation without Expectation
- You can only connect as deeply to someone else as you have connected to yourself
Feel into yourself then feel out : In-to-me-I-see = intimacy : connect to self so that you can choose to connect authentically to others in your truth , other people can help you feel your edges, Self-initiate inquiry
Corollary : Turn projection into introspection
I statements allow others a window into your internal experience, adding definition and reultion to the structures that make up your perception of reality. rewrite your story : everything is within you, change your perspective, change your life â€“ you are the authority of your own experience. See where you are in regards to what is around you : causality is perspective : Discernment â€“ find your level â€“ titrate your intensity level : Outer world mirrors inner world. As above so below : Primary evolution of consciousness is to feel in â€“ feeling out is a reflection of that. tell your own story, not place responsibilities around other people to take care of you. Be an active agent in creating the experience you desire
- You are the authority of your own experience
External authority enculturated into a society based on external authority. Externality degrading to internal authority. Internal voice that guides. Choose which fringe of the norm you want to live on. Model the behavior you want them to do. Open the place for them to model the same behavior. guys should know what sex means to women â€“ instead communicate, what does sex mean to me, because there are thousands of answers. Directly challenges stereotypes. Simplify people around us into archetypes, they are not real. What are you an expert in? share your skills and knowledge. Be a perpetual student.
- Yo ; check it : be an agent of collective well being
active participatory curation, co-create conscious culture : Be conscientious of the effect you are having on the : The part you play is part of the whole field : Move and act from the heart : think globally, act locally : call yourself and others to deeper awareness and clarity : delineating the difference between hey you â€“ pay attention and pay attention. Model the culture you wish to manifest. Value creating interaction â€“ generating net positive value. : Answer longing with belonging : nourish the things that nourish you : responsibility power
resonance, be aware of how you are affecting the group field. Coherent resonance within the collective field
corollary : Nourish what Nourishes you
Modelling â€“ encode understanding into other people in the most efficient way. actively engage will in alignment with the experience you are wishing. Be the model for the world you dream of. Equanimity collective well being
- Drop In Deeper : use embodied communication
If you go deep into anything, that is everything â€“ principals translate to all realms. Effortless embodiment. Learn how to feel other humans long before we learn to talk to them. There was a time that you existed without words and you did fine. The non-verbal is less filtered and therefore more real in rawness. If you need to ask with words, youâ€™re not listening deeply enough, and youâ€™re probably not listening to my body. The line between Articulation and intuition. If you donâ€™t continue to listen I am not here you have stripped me of my ability to participate. Responsibility of reading each other.. Read tone subtlety in the moment. Why the consent discussion gets initiated in the first place. If you need to have a verbal discussion around consent something is already incoherent. Flirting is a subtle listening game of cues - are you speaking the same language? Proactively searching for common language and shared understanding. Communicate densely. Feel > think. Practice touch literacy. Differentiation of subtle language â€“ Â Painting with new colors â€“ heighten resolution through distinguishing hues. Wealth of nuance.
- Squish, donâ€™t squash
The deeper the pressure, the deeper the listening : fast and light, deep and slow : checking-in is a constant collaborative calibration : When in doubt wait it out â€“ slower speeds allow ample space for processing experiences and tuning into truth : donâ€™t inhibit or override anotherâ€™s ability to choose or move
Find and stretch edges through interpersonal inquiry
What is pushed into the unconscious must be seen and so is projected in the world around you. By observing something outside of yourself you are allowing it a space within. By seeing it and discerning it outside, you create the space inside yourself for that same mirror to happen.
What do you want to be possible â€“ the best way you can relate to someone is the best way you can imagine it
This is a living document that welcomes conversation : join the discussion below
Tail brainwaves â€“ respond like ears.
What living a body aware lifestyle feels like : (a tastes, specific, detailed recommendations)
Treat your body like good friend, take care of it, keep it clean and well maintained, run the engine daily, cut your nails !
Be kind to other bodies â€“ cushion bones : meet hard with soft, explore (penetrate, explore) soft with hard (bone to muscle)
Abstain from synthetic fragrances and sharps (pointy jewelry, hair-catching items, cutting edges)
Feeling into edges â€“ edges are meant to be expanded, not exploded â€“ trust that people know where they want to be â€“ if you donâ€™t know their pressure or touch preferences, check in. Use a number scale to convey the intensity of the sensation, and discuss beforehand the range you would like to play in (kink)
Wear soft, silky, textured clothes, that are nice for you to feel and nice for others to touch.
no sharps, points, or hard edges â€“ including hair clips, earrings, cut your nails
Be wary of smudgeable makeup
Squish commandments â€“ squish scripture
Thou shalt not hurt others â€“ first do no harm â€“ work to enhance life, create diversity and abundance
Be kind to other bodies â€“ we are fairly fragile when frightened
Verbal / non-verbal consent
Collapse all of your sensation into the shared point of contact then root into the other persons body through that spot
viscosity of space . realm synergizing experience.
ability to connect to an emotion +Â express it clearly â€“ hone in on one emotion and express to a point of clarity.
Shepard of dialogue. coalesce -> Cohesive document.
** Principals of self-inquiry â€“ how to effectively self inquire **
Non causal â€“ co-creative process (causality is perspective). Agitate the pile and it self sorts. Agitation is facilitated movement .
What youâ€™re feeling is also feeling you : cannot touch without being touched