dream.wake

this is a work in progress - I would love to turn it into a multi-novel series through working on it full time. I am also open to working with illustrators for color plates. Until then, here are a few morsels to inspire you.

The Timeline

Ancient Lore

The Lore of the Beginning – AIO becomes Differentiated Beings

All was one. An ocean of luminous love that permeated all that was, bathing it in soft white light. Nothing was differentiated, and everything was filled with an encompassing deep love that knew no boundaries. All decided to experience itself in another form beyond complete unity and chose to create boundaries within itself – tentative membranes that introduced semblance divisions. Why did we leave such oceanic bliss? So that we would know that joy of returning. So that we could be student and teacher of the lessons that can only come with separation.

All is one – portions of consciousness separate out – Authority is first – delineating boundaries, claiming power as the First Separate, but in order to continue to have power, need to return to source and complete the circle with the potential of ‘resetting’ and not remembering what came before due to timelessness / boundary dissolution within AIO. Authority unwilling to take the risk of in-continuous memory (not wanting to give up claim to power as the First Separate, also wanting to maintain order and linear flow of time) and so needs to feed of those who have recently come from Source and had their energy topped up. Authority does so through a variety of means including dreams and walling off ‘bad’ memories or feelings.

Current

Authority creates a system of taxation utilizing individuals desire to ‘forget’ bad things that have happened to them – and makes walls, dams, inside people’s minds so that they can compartmentalize the trauma and function happily and ‘normally’ – but maintaining these walls costs psychic energy. As a toll for this service, Authority charges additional energy as ‘protection money’ to reinforce these walls (and Authority has them under their thumb because A can threaten to knock down the wall at once – flooding years of darkness into the psyche like a tsunami and debilitating the person : antidote is person uses hormesis low level build up of tolerance to poison) . In this way, a human yields their Power and Obedience to Authority for fear of their own inner darkness and desire to escape pain. Humans becomes closed off from their whole totality, lessening the amount of energy that they have – energy is blocked behind the wall in addition to being sapped to maintain the wall. When they integrate these ‘dark’ parts of themselves, they are more wholly human, in addition to liberating this energy and knowing what darkness is, rather than ‘Othering’ something that they do not fully understand and denying that is it also a part of them.

Authority has put the dreamers into a Second Sleep for their own protection so that they cannot wander the realms, either innocently stumbling into the Shadow realms [Umbra (completely dark – those who know not the light); Penumbra – portion of the light source eclipsed, partial eclipse; and Antumbra – a ring of light around the dark spot, full eclipse, as the being moves closer to the source of the light moves into Umbra – those who are confused trying to get to the light], scaring themselves leaving their bodies, or distracting the higher realm/inter-dimensional beings. But there are some that still get through ‘the Fog’ that the serum of the Sleeping Spider/Second Sleep envelops dreamers in and these are sent into Architect Dreams.

Original Dreamers

Originally Dreamers were free to wander above the earth – some gathered together and naturally formed groups to explore, protect one another and educate new dreamers, which they deciphered and taught the basic principles of how things work in Dream. Lupus was the head of one of the more well-known groups: The Strays, where he roamed with his older brother Sirius, who specifically searched out those individuals who were discarded from the other groups and took them under his wing – even sheltering them on his ‘planet’ – the place where advanced level dreamers can create a wormhole to wake up on as a starting point – typically their universe of origin, the characteristics of which can be seen in their eyes (2).

Eventually Authority, calling themselves First Separate coalesced power and Control, and under the guise of protecting dreamers from the Feeders, formed highly patrolled Pods. Originally if a Dreamer was to continually Wake in Dream, then they would be allowed to go free from the pod being placed with a guard to train them in spiritual defense so they could survive in the realm, but now they put them under stronger and stronger sedation. Eventually the Pod’s managers and guards became corrupted and allow the Feeders in (they can only get in 1. with the use of a Talisman which alters the structure of the shield, creating a hole in it; or 2.  by having the shield programmed to allow their spiritual signature through, needing to wipe the memory of the program which records all entrances and exits according to spiritual signature) at a price: be it rare objects, meta-programs to dream and create utopian realms (lucid dreams are meta-programs in Dream – writing the program, creating the world in Dream), punishments to those they dislike or to pay off debts to other Spirits.

Now Dreamers emotional bodies / their spiritual energy is harvested in a Second Sleep where they enjoy dreams of pleasure, ‘bread and circuses’ that they have chosen and paid for with their karmic prana energy that they gathered through their day. Standard is simply a dreamless sleep – The Fog – sedated with the saliva of the slumber spider – which paralyzes the spirit body. There are the Dream Writers that come up with dream scripts – such as snippets of dialogue (low-level work) , Architects that plot them out (highest level – weave all together), those that Program the dreams (tech work – textures of materials, how the dream ques up the next experience pulling from memory banks important people in the Dreamer’s life) – this ‘employs’ people and they get the perk of getting as many low grade dreams as they want. Higher energy/more pleasurable dreams with a lot of detail (especially non-generic personal touches/people-bots playing the improve roles in-vivo) costs more energy.

 

Sirius

Sirius is one of the few ethical guard-dogs that has not been corrupted, and senses that things are not as they seem in the pods. He slowly learns of the reality that these paralyzed Dreamers are being preyed upon without any way to fight back, due to their low energy levels after he is gone from certain sections in his rounds. Droppages that normally would not happen in Fog or but as he just as he is putting the pieces together Authority’s right hand man Dominion (who does most of the dirty physical work of getting things done) demands greater harvests from his Pod to ‘keep the shields up’ energy of dreamers used to power Feeder shields) or else Sirius would be demoted as protector of his Pod and that energy would be gathered through the use of Nightmares (fear can also be used as energy but can easily be overwhelming, causing energy surges, as well as attracting the Feeders who feed off of Fear)

Sirius watches over Animus, a Dreamer who continues to try and wake up, escaping all of the mazes that the designers have written and has been put under stronger sedation ‘The Fog’ that Animus wanders in has grown more and more dense (have to pass through the veil from physical body sleeping, to spirit – almost like a car wind dryer pushing the water droplets of remembering off – have to shelter them with the hand like drops of dew in the desert).

1 – Animus is merely in a complex maze dream from which they need to escape (2) Sirius coaches them through it because Animus reminds Sirius of his lost younger brother Lupus, who was so yielding that he sacrificed himself willingly to darkness in love. (4 -  Lupus is the part of the dark one which responds empathetically to Animus in the final defeating battle and the seed through which the roots of compassion break the seemingly impenetrable armor) Lupus broke away from Authority after immediately doing research into the rumors and knowledge he collected which told a different tale then the propaganda that Authority put out, Lupus sensed that keeping Dreamers asleep was not right after they continually tried to Wake. Lupus refuses to reduce himself to a system he does not agree with and is willing to die for the value he believes in and his Vision that all Dreamers will be free to Roam the Realms. Sirius always regrets how slow he moved and his initial hesitation is supporting and following his brother (gets teased and extra scrutiny from Authority and minion because of his rebellious younger brother Lupus).

Sirius decides to help Animus Wake – in honor of what Lupus would have done - as Animus is partially through the fog, Sirius speaks to Animus to help orient out of the Fog. The time for Authority’s guards to come through and collect the energy from the Dreamer’s harvests (highest in Rem sleep when most active, but also most likely to break through the Fog) Alarms going off because Authority monitors that Animus is close to breaking through the Fog – and Authority knows that the Prophesy states that One who moves through the Fog like Water will return Authority back to Source. Authority’s minions coming in to give him more Slumber Spider Spit and drug him deeper into dream while Sirius is coaching Animus through the Fog. At the last possible moment Animus Wakes, and immediately looks into Sirius’s eyes and they both go into Sirius’s universe.

 

 

Such an epic journey, lasting many days, Animus voluntarily put into a coma to accomplish it – daughter tries to explain to parents, they think that she is hallucinating, so she runs away, hides out and her Watcher puts her in a drug-induced coma, taking care of her. Meanwhile her parents begin panicking and they send the police, FBI, similar agencies to find her, and they are getting closer and closer, Watcher is nervous that she will not accomplish her travels and her task in time in order to free the dreamers from the slow sapping sickness that keeps them bound by their physical sleeping selves, easy prey for the Feeders. Watcher made a promise to keep X under as long as possible, for she will Wake Herself when her duties are done. The police actually find them with X still under and arrest the Watcher, who is helpless, and has the hard choice of how much to give X to try to keep her under. Family of X initially mad, interrogating Watcher, until Water says, read Xs diary’s you never believed her, but she told you all along. Mother X calls off solitary confinement for Watcher, becomes an ally, “tell me what I need to do to carry out X’s legacy”. Watcher says to send X good energy (not worrying energy about health or if they will ever wake up) but strong, powerful, grateful, happy energy toward who X is becoming in Dream and in Wake, creating rivulets in reality that cause the waters of will to gather strength as they flow in that direction.

Animus to Sirius : I know that I have enough time, and no more. The time that I have is borrowed.

Sirius and the guard dogs [GDs – also God’s Disciples, subtheme of gang type behavior] have been watching Animus

Artifex Sword

Hologram, suggestibility potion, very light mock sword on Animus – Artifex (Fex or Arti for short) convinced that a ‘energy’ sword has been made that can be summoned by name, fluctuates with the sense of its users desired length, Animus asks, how strong is it? Artifex replies, ‘shucks, the only thing that may break it is a dragon fang, but then again I have never been that close to a dragon, so you’ll have to put it to the test and report back to me, if you even get back in one piece after getting that close’ (dragons bodies run very hot, due to their capability to produce fire, the heat of their blood is hot enough to melt most metal, such as swords). Moment of trial – working against a dragon and it comes to light that this sword is merely a held construct of Animus’ mind, moment of fading as Animus begins to doubt then ‘all that matters is what is real to you – the age old argument decided – it doesn’t matter if it is objectively true, for if it is true to you, it is as real as anything else you experience – it becomes your truth, seamlessly’

In this way the belief of others causes Animus to believe deeply that this sword is real – manifesting it as an undeniable force. On one level this can be interpreted as an act of ‘trickery’ but Artifex’s lesson of the power of mind and belief in constructing reality. Revealed that many powers result from other’s believing in the capability of a particular individual – hence the manufactured ‘prophecy’ and signs. Write your own Prophecy. (do not be beholden to what others tell you is true, unchangeable, correct, the future, your path, gaze within yourself and find you path, your truth).

 

Sirius training

Noticing when dreaming – lucid dream guide : clocks, reading – unstable text, flying, breathing, mirrors/walls, light switches, how did I get here, looking a hands, drinking a lot of water, study ludic dreaming

Pre-lucid : not quite right, something strange going on, when wake up realize it was a dream

Low – for a few minutes realize dreaming, but then back in the flow

High 0 completely aware that what experiencing is not real

Absolute – move into dream space from place of lucidity

Control : first deciding where to go, then jumping,

Flying – flapping arms, swimming through air, flippers on feet, superman jet, vehicle, ether, transform into flying creature, summoning such a creature

, creating small things,

Prolonging lucidity: Give me clarity, increase lucidity, focus on object – especially that gave you clarity – focus on stable reference point , spinning, having a purpose/ to do list, remaining calm, rubbing hands together, grabbing hold of something – texture, friction

Nightmare: why are you here, turning around when running away, Facing fears, controlling enemies, hug enemy, ask for gift, turn into shell, friend,

Fun: looking at the sky, transform into other being, go through mirror, become invisible, teleport (door, elevator), magic, create (behind door in pocket 2 – from thin air), speaking to self as child, changing weather, time extension (3), creating art, create and manipulate energy with hands, build a house, magical items, hone skills, turn into monster- scare people, dig a hole, start wind, float, freeze time, become multiple people, talk to animals, explore depth of ocean, sky, and inside of land, birth of the universe, buddha lands (4), askanatic record, synthesis of feelings, speak to famous people, perceiving in multiple dimension, alter genetic makeup, figure out how to send messages to Wake self, paint sky, Soma, create a world populate it, be a god, be a cloud make self into shapes,

Deep: go through past lives, find god / light, receive answers to your questions, spirit guide, healing, create a new sense

Shared dreaming: make someone else ludic – enter their dream, meet at predetermined place,

Analysis: repetition/patterns, everyone as an aspect of you, explain simply – as if to alien, what am I doing, how do I feel, setting, main characters, symbols, what am I avoiding, trigger memories, questions linger, why did I dream this

Model of the world, assumptions, motivations, expectations, dying in dreams

Dream recall – dream signs - napping

Why: rehearse for the moment of possibility,

LSD family drugs – psilocybin and tryptamines stimulate REM sleep (in doses small enough to allow sleep) leading to longer REM periods

Diamond method – parts of life facets of a diamond = life is happening all at once it is only your perception which determines where your awareness rests – Many Worlds Theory of Quantum Mechanics

Emotions not so internal private, harmless

Disbelieve it, burst into flames, create weapon, shapeshift it,

Astral light

Strong and renewable energy source – physical body – can change size, create forge weapons out of creativity

To hold an item in shape, a projector must hold the awareness of that new item in mind at all

times until it starts to set and becomes more durable. The longer this is done and the more often the

same item is generated, the more durable it will become

energy bolts

sword blessed by power of god, feel part of yourself go into weaponry

feel and see object if already in existence – will it ento existence

 

Prophecy

The True Prophecy – Monita

Monita (admonish, authoritative council, warning, notice, forestalling, prophecy) is the originator of the prophecy – although she is indeed a Reader of Akashic Records she can only read possibilities and probabilities, and in the ‘good’ version, saw an Awakener waking the Slumbering and through the power of their combined intention/attention they are able to increase the likelihood of the positive outcome. In one sense she reads the possibilities, and manufactures a prophecy, that then manifests itself. She considers herself a pure servant of the Records, a Mouthpiece, but indeed she does have to interpret for the message to have meaning, and to draw upon aspects that she wants to manifest or encourage. Although anyone can visit the records, she spends all of her time there, as she is a child born into a coma (eventually dark forces find her and pull the plug – removing her capability to work in the real time zone, and catapulting her into the higher planes). She gives out individual parcels of the prophecy to each individual who comes to her through Sors (allotment, fate, portion, cut, oracle, prophecy) – the Oracle

 

Readers of the Akashic Record have different interpretations of what may happen, its likelihood, based on their personal lenses. Not all are allowed into the Hall by Authority (‘some have been tampering with the Future Flow of the Records, causing fear and unrest among the Realms’), there are those who are allowed and who only give readings that Authority approves of, but some are able to sneak in, and some tell the real prophecy through underground information distribution channels. Authority approved council : Augurium (omen, divination, soothsaying, forecast, sign of what will happen – augury) agents of Augur seed dreamers with signs of what may happen – intuitive hunches, whom some clairvoyance comes from, is bestowed upon; Praedictum (prediction, fortelling, bodement, order, command) militaristic, strategy on how to make prediction come to be; praesagium – prediction, foreboding, prophecy, premonition – agents also seed dreamers. Guardians, Keepers, Lords, Guides of the Hall of Records – no one can access personal records without our express permission.

Authority receives a reading that One who has come through the fog will return him to source. He has made it a point to monitor those who came through the Fog in the early days and prevent new dreamers from coming through.

 

Attention / Energy / Idols / Sacred Places

Your most important commodity is your attention – that which you pay attention to gains the currency of your personal energy, moment by moment. Collectively entities like ‘Jesus’, the angels, and the devil, (and holy places) known by name, body, and place gain conscious energy when they are thought about. This may be why people become so intoxicated by fame, why ancient Mayan leaders paved over the old temples to build on new additions, Why Ozymandias created sculptures far and wide which bore his name – they consciously or unconsciously felt their energetic selves swelling in power each time they were focused on (in person, image, or concept). Even if things are thought of in a negative way they still gain that form of energy – be it anger or hatred, the stronger the energy and the more thought devoted the more energy is leaked to that entity (some entities prefer this ‘flavor’). That which you reach out to with your mind also creates a two way flow of energy – one cannot touch without being touched. Dark entities create handles or hooks which they use to move one step away from direct possession – the feeling of possession is often terrifying for vessels and they are likely to break contact, so more insidious methods behind masks and veils are used. Often dark entities tap into real fears that the individual has developed, (some have been experimenting with implanting new fears through dreams over time – there is ego in this as it is creating and then dominating your own territory – nightmare architects). Knowing your shadows and your darkness and owning it, examining it, not denying or repressing it, give you knowledge and power over yourself, nothing that you are unaware of – therefore nothing is controlling you without your knowledge.

 

 

The Murum (wall builders)

The Murum have their tongues cut out so that they are unable to speak about what they have sealed up behind walls, and when asked they cry black inky tears. The ‘toughest’ swallow their tears which turn into pearls in their mouths – layers upon layers of sadness which form around the words they cannot speak. (Sometimes small afraid children, murderous aggressors, terrible places, hell realms). Some memories as are places where Murum can build a wall, but some are like animals or people that roam the subconscious and can be trapped in wells or sealed in caves (if they can fly or swim). The Murum have to find a way to trick, torture, cage, cajole these bad memories into a certain area and seal it off like a wild beast. Some Murum take a fondness for these creatures and take them into their own personal sanctuaries as familiars. Some of the Murum feel that they are doing a service to people, others, the younger, softer ones have trouble with sealing off the sad, cast off memories and sometimes leave cracks for them to see or seep through. In order to know what to seal off they have to hear the confessions of their Clients as to what the they no longer want to have awareness of.

The Murum also are supposed to cut all connections into these dark places – but they often leave at least one thin thread, or end hanging down from the wall or well. Some Murum work for the Dark Demons and are secretly told how to create, hooks, handles, ways of tapping into the darkness of the Forgotten memory folk to allow higher-Negs/Demons to live within the shadows beyond the wall ‘genie in the bottle’ behind the wall, and to know their deepest fears and how to control them through these places and memories. The Murum are purposefully isolated away from other beings so that they cannot write or reveal what they have seen – not that many would want to – making a mental telepathic connection with the Murum feels like drowning in sorrow. However, one set of twin Connectors has one side a Murum and another whom is Free. This Murum feels like they need to do penance for accidently killing their mother and in so doing tried to protect their sibling from the truth – attempt to distance themselves, sever connection to sibling – it is their burden to carry [the head guard of the Murum wall = Carcer – prison, dungeon, jail, cell] ; Munio – fortify, wall, protect, strengthen, defend, guard]. Conligo (connect, bind, infer, stop from, rake, connect) is the Free Twin connected to Munio the Murum.

 

The Takers - Dark Demons

Authority also has a vast army of Negs which feed off of sleeping dreamers – trained like falcons and other creatures of prey to ‘hunt’ for them and return with the spoils – works well for mosquitoes and other ‘intimidate-able’ beings, but not for the Greater Demons that Authority (cocky) begins to think that A have control over. Much like lawyers looking for loopholes, they follow the letter but not the spirit of their agreements. Originally Authority used them to teach A how to extract the energy that A deemed A’s right for creating and maintaining the wall, but it evolved into Authority simply wanting to use them for their skills in manifesting the Potential future in which they reign (with A attempting to reign supreme in this P Future). Authority and its minions expend a lot of energy attempting to control these Demons of great power, who enjoy playing tricks of Authority and subverting Authority’s plans (such as making pacts with the Murum and gaining access to spaces Beyond the Wall).

Waw (hook, spear, peg) – 6th letter – 6 types of hooks – directly hooked into aspect of memory, association to emotion of memory, planted seed, growing harvestable hook, hook of this lifetime – debt, past lifetimes.

(some Nightmare / Dream Architects write their own dreams, getting more and more detailed as their pour their every free moment into designing their perfect gilded cages – setting more jeweled mirrors and gems in the bars each day).

 

Architects

Architects design basic programs which then allow inputs from the subject’s subconscious (called up through keywords, emotions associations, networks of remembrance) – friends, places, experiences – to convince the Dreamer that this is solely a creation of their own mind (2 – this is also where the weakness is, as a trained Dreamer can exploit this sole hole to remind themselves that they are in a program). This is why ‘it was my house, but not my house’.

Distractions : eating, shopping, mindless enjoyment, videogames, riches, power,

model of the world, birth/death;

 

Nightmare architects

Vereor – to respect, fear, be in dread of, to be afraid : specializes in having the voice be the one inside your head

Metus – fear, dread, anxiety : specializes in motion running dreams

Timor – fear, dread, object causing fear : specializes in frightening sounds

Most common emotions confusion, disgust, sadness and guilt

Physical aggression, interpersonal conflicts, failure helplessness, health realted concerns/death, apprehension/worry. Nightmares more likely physical aggression, being chased, evil forces and accidents. Interpersonal conflicts = bad dreams

 

Newly Separated Souls

Newly differentiated from Source have an Umbilical Cord connecting their Spirit/Energy body to their physical body, and they Wake out of their physical body

Astral Projection Under Authority

Dreamers are discouraged from Astral Projection by fearsome voices, warnings that they will be attacked, noises, by negative entities. (Dweller on the brink orders back into physical body – Astral voices, noises, warnings, animals, clammy hands, hitchhiker) There is also propaganda spread that their empty bodies will be inhabited by Neg entities. This is only possible if the entity enters into the body the moment the Silver Cord is cut. For many generations, the Silver cord was thought to be impenetrable, as it was blessed by an archangel. However, the protection only works when the being is pure of heart and invokes the protection of the angel. Additionally, a new substance has been found that can cut the cord – created through the allowed cruelties of Fear on children – a being secretly ‘ruled’ by Authority who genuinely has more power then A.

Silver cord is like a web of energy portals/flows that moves from the physical body to the spirit body (phasma) and can only be severed in extreme situations. Usually what happens is when an attack on the cord occurs, both bodies sleeping physical and Spirit feel it and the Cord immediately retracts connecting spirit into the physical body – waking up gasping – and protecting the being. However, one can train themselves to not react to the slow sawing or nibbling needed to break through the ‘energetically thick’ cord and allow the connection to be broken – in which case death usually occurs (animating spirit cleaved from matter). However, when the cord is only partially broken the being will enter into a coma – able to receive weaker flows of energy, usually from beings directing that energy toward their comatose loved one. At this point the energetic being has a limited reserve of energy to draw from, and only through those who think about them or direct energy to them. Many times these people are Freedom Fighters and they actually want the connection to be fully severed, for Negs can follow the end of the cord back to the place that their body rests - finding and tormenting their families. {sudden infant death syndrome, older people dying in their sleep}

 

 

The Waking Process

[writing from the perspective of making a manual/recording the story for Dream School, once more have awakened, but as of time of writing, locked inside of a crystal - deep trust to transport through the Veil without detection]

It seems impossible to draw the line between when I was Asleep and when I Awoke, for it was not the sharp shivery snap of diving into icy water. I Woke alone, and with no Mentor, although I did have a Guardian who saw the signs of my stirring and eased my full Birth into Dream. To this Guardian,  my gratitude unending for this being who allowed me to Wake and come into this world [then end up being found out and imprisoned - Sirius]. My Awakening was a gathering of finest gossamer filaments, spider silk shining in the moonlight, a trolling of the depths of my subconscious, dredging for answers to my mind's whispers of inquiry, my unease a reversal mirroring of the easy answers of those in power. My Waking was like Sleepwalking through the desert, in which the destination was unclear until the last moment: when the admixture had finally reached the saturation point and the precipitate was conjured from clear liquid like a magick teleported stone.

But this is too much to begin with: I run ahead of myself as I groped for the path blindly, as I have already walked this path and can see the twists and turns unravel in their splendor through the hard won summiting of the mountaintop. I will sketch my history, and perhaps some great analyst will be able to parse out the details that are most meaningful to Awaken others. Only one thing is certain: you must be ready to die.

You must be ready to be shorn of your ego, unattached to the memories of who you are in Wake to be able to remember how to be in Dream. Otherwise you will struggle against leaving yourself, flailing in the Fog between Wake and Dream, like a nightmare swimmer, and you will attract Authority’s enforcers with your floundering ripples.

Perhaps it is because I have danced in the darkest places of the soul - heart longing for love, genuine connection, beating like a swollen bruise in my chest - ribcage submersed in the rising waves of sorrow emanating from the bottomless dark winding, hollow, empty pit in my stomach. Wrenching, heaving, bile and blood and tears all mixed, curled up in protective fetal position, cradling myself against the onslaught. I knew my Shadow.

When I was young, I had trouble sleeping. I gave my parents quite a handful, as I never wanted to be alone as I slept. As a young infant I demanded to be walked around the house, pointing with tiny fingers to direct my steed onward in exploration through space. After commandeering my craft I would eventually wearily slump upon my faithful ride's shoulder, at which point they would tenderly attempt to place me into my crib, lowering dozing cargo inch by precious inch. If I was disturbed at any point in the process, by a hasty placement or turbulent tip-toing out of the room, I would wake and the cycle would begin anew. After I graduated to my own bed I would only be able to fall asleep on my stomach - an internal protective mechanism that I never managed to override even after Awakened. Why was sleep a loss of safety to me ?

You see, I was terrified. Each night, I would beg my caretakers to stay in the room with my while I slept, and they acquiesced in the beginning, sympathizing with the fears of a young child. My mother would pick her nails with a regular clicking rhythm, and my father attempted to read by the light of the dim, hooded, night-light bulb. Comforted by their presence, I would fall asleep, and they would slink away when my breaths became deep and regular. Knowing that they were watching my physical body, I would allow myself to pass into the border realms of Dream. But they would never stay the whole night, for how could they know my terrors were not imagined.

I would awake alone, fear flooding my body with the sensation that there were strangers in the house and that they meant ill. They were coming to take what we had, to kidnap me or kill me and my family. I was the only one awake, aware of the situation, but I lied paralyzed with fear, for if they knew I was conscious, they would surely end my life before I could alert the others. I would feel them downstairs, sometimes one being, two, or even more. They slowly ascended the staircase, their sinister intentions radiating like dark scaled tentacles. As they slowly moved down the hall towards my room, they were the hunters and I was the prey, exposed, vulnerable, and defenseless. My sole advantage lie in the lack of their knowledge that I was awake. I strategized – running mental scenarios as they might play out: if they had a knife, I could move quickly out of the way of their stab and using their surprise at my consciousness to my advantage, wrestle the knife from their hands. But when would be the most adventitious moment to scream? Not too soon or they would kill the family members that would rush to my aid, but not too late, for I knew that I would not survive long after making them aware I was awake.

Not allowing myself the luxury of assuming that I would do away with the intruders through my resourcefulness, I contemplated what I would do if they were to kidnap me. As my mind cartwheeled in a wildly gyroscoping panic, I thought about how I could tear my clothes to make shreds of cloth to drop like Hansel and Gretel’s bread so that the police and investigators would have some semblance of a trail to follow. I would pull out my hairs to leave a trail of DNA. With my multifarious plans churning in my mind I waited for them to reach my room, controlling my breath, inwardly - each muscle tight and ready to respond to the approaching threat, with an outward semblance of a peacefully sleeping youngster. I heard their footsteps ascending the stairs as though in slow motion, and when I heard the first creak at the end of the long hallway I knew that the moment for action would soon be upon me. I steeled my resolve, ready to do anything I needed to survive the night.

But the dark shadows never showed themselves in physical form, instead remaining just on the fringes of my perception, toying with my panic, watching me with their empty eyes from my bedroom door. I would feel them waiting. I was torn between maintaining the illusion of sleep, eyes closed, and preserving my life for a few moments more, or attempting to alert my parents to this shade which threatened us all. Eventually I could lie there no longer, my body queasy and sick with adrenaline, and I slowly, like a slug, would move, centimeter by painstaking centimeter, sliding to the floor, eyes still closed, feigning sleep, sensing the Shadow’s presence nearby without knowing exactly where it was. Eventually, reaching the floor and convincing myself that the Shades may think that I was a bizarre sleepwalker I would begin the long journey to my parent’s bedroom. I would crawl on my belly down the infinite hallway, pausing innumerable times, and shifting my weight so slightly as to not make the old floorboards creak, as additional shadows were downstairs looting and would swiftly end my life if I was to alert them to my presence. Inch by inch, I was the sloth incarnate, slow to save my own life, slithering on my belly toward the safety of my parent’s room. If my father was snoring, I could hear by the time I was midway through the hallway, and even if he was not rumbling, he still gargled the spit in the back of his throat with each breath, not unlike the rattle of one approaching death.

I reached their bedroom door, and entered with the same stillness of motion, and now that they were well within dashing distance, I felt calmed by their unaware peacefulness. Perhaps they were right and I was just imagining it all? Now my motivations for silent movement changed - I did not wish to wake them unnecessarily and risk the self-imposed guilt of disturbing their slumber. I would lay in the corner, resting after my fraught and arduous journey, nerves frayed, gathering my strength and absorbing courage from the presence of my caretakers. Sometimes I would lay there so long that one of my parents would wake to use the restroom. Sometimes they wouldn't even see me in their half-awakened state, and return to their warm bed with a zombie-like shuffle. I would wait a few moments, gathering the courage to speak and would whisper, mamyte or tete [mommy or dad in Lithuanian], and they would return to their bodies with a snap, startled, voicing, 'ka?' or ‘kas ten?’ [what or who’s there], with a creeping edge of uncertainty in their voices. Occasionally they would see me settled on my arms in the corner, lounging like a wayward cat and whisper 'what's wrong', and when I told them what I was scared of, they would sigh and say, 'you’re safe, here let me take you back to your room'.

We would walk together along the hallway, and hand-in-hand the trip would take a fraction of time compared to the vast distance I had previously traversed alone over the course of (what felt like) hours in snail-mode. Ah, the vicissitudes of time in terror. Walking with them, they would listen to my fear and then dismiss it as untrue (and therefore invalid) from their physically rationalist point of view. After a time I did not bother sharing the details of my truth of the living nightmares, instead saying simply that I had a bad dream, for even as young as I was I knew that I could not convince them of the reality that I was experiencing because it lie beyond the scope of what they thought possible. The first few times I came to them in the night, they would sit with me for a time, later still they would simply tuck me in and leave. Eventually I would simply not bother to wake them with personal terrors that I knew they would never see or believe, even though the experiences I had in the darkness were more visceral then anything I had known in the daylight.

How did I sleep? In the end the solution was simple, requiring nothing but an iron-clad will to let go. I would allow myself to be killed, if that is what the situation came to. I let go of clinging to the ego of this lifetime and decided that if this was my time and way to go into the quiet, still darkness, that there was little I could do. I relinquished the illusion of control that I had over the situation that was stacked against me, and I was able to surrender in slumber.

In this way, I was prepared for death early on in my childhood, and my capacity for operational (rather than frozen) fear was greatly expanded. There is little else more frightening then death, as it the main root of many modern fears (for example, if one is to dig beneath the surface of the fear of aging, or dangerous situations such as encounters with snakes and spiders). [I was to find out later that people are being harvested for particular emotions as feeding].

 

x Manipulation / Understanding Power

Alongside this easy familiarity with death, I was trained early in the subtle art of manipulation. My mother was the master, although I came to surpass her in time, for she had not done enough inner searching, and so her hollow ego had created a mirrored egg - secure and secluded within itself, gazing at the world as a reflection of herself. Although in light of this you may think me cruel and calculating, these are the imprints burned into my programming, the backup circuits that I revert to in my more shameful fearfully-reactive survival moments. This vision was the first pair of spectacles through which I gazed wide-eyed at the world, but with tunnel vision - a fixation upon that details that could be used for the profit of my organism’s advancement in the pecking order – a constant shuffling in which I wanted to end up at the top of any situation. Destiny’s deck of cards was never still, so I obsessively focused on learning the movements of the hands of power – who held it and where it came from – my mind fixated on finding out the mechanisms. As much as I was grown in the soils of manipulation and self-interest and watered with fearful tears, I have sought to dig out these sources of intention and action - releasing myself from such a cage. Your past can either blindly define you with deeply etched grooves of habit that steer your river of will in obedience to physics, or you can study the flow and use it to inform your blueprint of the type of dam or diversions that you must build. Although my ancestral line had no idea of the results of transmitting intergenerational war trauma, they enrolled me in master course in understanding the subconscious drivers of mankind’s survival fears, bound in certitude of the finality of this lifetime as all there is and all there ever will be.

The most successful manipulators either deeply know themselves and what they are seeking to obtain or alternatively are so completely unaware of themselves that their naiveté protects them from projecting the dark currents stirring their waters. Most dangerous are those that know not what they do, nor why, for they are the most deeply manipulated, blind to broader purpose and the effects of their actions as cog in the machine.

But I am getting much ahead of myself, spouting theory and verse, but when everything is so interconnected it is hard to know where to begin with someone new to Dream– for it all one loops back upon itself stacked in spirals that deepen dimensions beyond this false fable of linear time.

 

Witness – Prodo (reveal, betray, abandon) introduction

Let me begin my tale of Animus, as I have had the privilege of experiencing it though Vita, my privilege and burden as a Witness of a memory download of the experiences of another being. Witnesses were rare in those days, as they had been Hunted in an attempt to extinguish what little knowledge was (or had the potential to be) travelling through non-Authority channels. It is exponentially more difficult to engage in Revolution if you do not know your own history.

(some Quickened in their development, others acted as Kindling, and some fully Ware ‘aware’ so in tune were there frequencies that it was as though they finally felt as though they belonged).

Although I act upon the nature of this tale as Truth, it is not genuinely biographical or of an outside perspective, but in a way autobiographical “from the horse’s mouth” - colored with the implications, omissions, and emphases of the memory of any Vita as subject in their own life telling. I write the story of Animus as a record of history as it can be best surmised and also to inform those who work for Liberation of the way in which it was once found when long lost through great courage, trust, and collaboration. Perhaps I also attempt to absolve myself of my guilt in abandoning Animus, in a cruel betrayal of the unwavering courage that Animus so readily displayed. However, base it is that I attempt to justify my behavior – it is highly improbable this tale would have survived had I not acted in the way I did, a belated justification for a cowardly act. I hope this Telling will in turn sow seeds of brave awakening among those who still Slumber. Oh Animus, your tale lives on through me, and I dedicate myself to its propagation! This tale is not explicitly for your deification, but to inform and inspire your fortitude of mind, emotion, temperament, and feeling in those who fear they do not have your indescribable will nor birth blessings of how it was, rather than how it is told in legend.

In some ways I am a curator of life story, sifting through memories and sorting the wheat from the chaff, but this is a false analogy for each moment is shaping of the end sculpture, altogether recognizing that there are moments which hold more sway in duration and influence, whether by accident of timing of depth of impact. This work is reflective, subject to evaluation, and hardly impartial. I am certain it would be different told from another Witness, and even Animus themselves! Regardless of how my honest descriptions may seem to bring judgement upon the clarity or lucidity of the narrator or tale, I have a duty to inform you of the realities of the situation as it has been laid at my feet. Perhaps I deserve your judgment more then I know. [philosophical : can any witness ever be impartial? Their perceptions, beliefs, understandings, color their judgment and retelling]

When I sift through the shifting sands of Animus’s early memories, a few things are intended to stand out, by their repetition, size, and emotional coloring.

Animus had an early experience of All Is One when communing with the Mushroom Allies – Went through the True Telling, not the story that Authority feeds

The following experience of the Creator I feel was influential in Animus’s personal understanding of the mentality of the One, a crucial foundation to build upon for their theories of How Things Came to Be This Way:

I Woke into Darkness. There was Nothing but Myself. I was deeply lonely for so long, an ache so ancient and deep that I knew it to be Truth. In my deepest longing, I could not bear this nothingness, so I created meaning, if only but for Myself. And so I began to Sing, a deep humming lullaby. I sang of things imagined and dreamed, of Bumblebees and Blue whales in the dark depths, and I was no longer alone, for these unbelievable creatures were now with Me, a part of Me yes, but with one thin veil dividing, parted by the slightest touch of recognizing Self in All. And I decided to Play a Game with Myself, to pass the Eternities that I Dwelt in, that I knew would flow onwards, and so the One Became Many, each a holographic spark of the Gestalt whole. Sometimes I Played the Game so well, became so immersed, that almost all of a Single Me forgot that it was all a Game of Experience – to Know the Joy of Returning, finding the Way back.

It is said that Animus Woke slowly, though great effort….

 

 

Feeders / Devas

The Feeders are merely the lap-dogs of more powerful entities called Devas who choose not to travel for they have many sub-minions to do their bidding and they see it as beneath them. Some Devas have particular flavors of emotion/feeling that they enjoy feasting on (such as Sorrow tinged with Guilt) and attempt to seed Dreamers with these emotions in their dreams. [2-they also seed the conditions for these emotions during Wake]. Devas can also enter into agreements with powerful humans who agree to manifest their desires in Wake, either through Channeling, receiving Inspiration, or allowing themselves to by physically possessed (Devas tend to not like to do this, as it is akin to squeezing a foot into a glove and pouring their energy into a human vessel – uncomfortable, diminishes their power, leaves them vulnerable because it is the only way that they can feel what it is like to be in a physical body and so the is the only way that they can experience pain as well as physical pleasure]. The line can get thin from channeling and possession – allowing more senses to take part in the channeling moves one into possession, as does relinquishing the ‘escape button’ or being able to see what they entity is doing (this removes a small amount of the feeling the entity is able to have, as that energy is going towards the one who has the body so some entities ‘kick out’ the real owner of the body in an attempt to have a full experience of being in a physical body), a side effect in possession is that one has no memory for what one has done under the control of another being . Humans purify their bodies to create the conditions whereby Devas would agree to enter into them (becoming a more appealing vessel based on the Deva they wish to attract) and through cultivating certain emotions (that attract the Deva or that the Deva wants to experience in a human form) as well as allowing themselves to completely surrender (harder then it seems for many). Certain devas are much more selective then others in who they will work with regarding purity, preparation of the vessel, whether they have been trained, benevolent devas want to make sure that they do not harm the vessel as well, which is why many less positive-entity possessions take place, due to ethics of the beings.

 

Mainstream Devas / Worship

Christians worship the devil through taboo – devil deemed special take action avoidance. Garbage men of god, the gods are but masks, but who wears them. Lucifer = the bearer of light, light bringer, shining one, bringer of dawn, refused to bow to adam who had power over earth,

Authority limits information in the guise of protecting Dreamers, Lucifer reveals information. Satan created this world of pain and emotion to feed off of fear and base emotions. God’s power is available to all creatures, but personal God wants to claim Praise, but Authority entreats that individuals cannot handle it and will fry themselves out. Satan feels that the highest authority is not granted, it is taken. Stan believes he can still win the war, but needs to worship, attention of the people on earth, power. Satan believes that he can rewrite the Prophesy that he will fail in his second. Samael = satan – still lord’s servant, even though wants men to do evil – that is how he serves God aka the totality of creation, angel of death, blindness, grim, destructive duties.

 

Good spirit – leave and return when called upon

Dark side – insects, no higher feelings, not like to work together, pecking order when found together, choose form taken from mind of projector to try to create maximum fear, feed on energy vibrations of fear

Psychic attacks, vampires

 

Energetic relationships

Dreamtime agreements – honored in wake

Curses – can last for years, even generations, and be altered to different purposes. (some are living beings, like leeches), affecting the atmosphere, arura around a person, disruptions in the currents of universal law – remember how you got it, who did this to you and why they would do such a thing

Porthole / portal in time

Stable time tunnel – decay over time

Do you owe or are you owed? Why are you here?

Keep going through something until you learn – cant be told

 

3 – bleeding between barrier of Dream and Wake

Déjà vu – seen something before

Deja vecu – scene in detail, know next thing that is going to happen

Some ‘dream their life away’ – increase the amount of REM sleep

 

 

2 Eye color correspond to personal universe characteristics

Eyes : brown – ground, earth, mining, jewels;

red/orange – levels of sun just forming; uncommon in humans – sometimes combined with brown red

yellow – forge, sun; (negative - Fire – consumed by your own fire – burning too brightly, burning the candle at both ends)

green – plants, living beings;

blue – water, ocean; (Water – emotional elements – drowning in strong emotion)

grey – fog, metallic, civilization;

purple –

combinations can also be seen, but are uncommon – chameleon eyes

 

Types of beings / characters / names

Beings

Bird that lays its full bladder

 

Incarnated angel, elemental, sorceress, high priestess, wizard, warlock, walk-in = suicide soul exchanges places

Sol mates feel like already know each other – unite for some purpose

Twin flames – meet each other in first and last incarnation – share the same soul

Soul groups – gain all knowledge of earth in separate lives, social memory complex

, divisions at the end the hardest 2 – twin flames.

Noto – observe, note, mark, distinguish by a mark, write, record ; the one writing this tale

Vox – voice, word,

Magistra

‘teacher’ in Latin. Lives in a universe of libraries – rarest books in the belly of a mountain, on shelves of stone, where they would survive even a Great Undoing/Renting of a Deconstructor/Unraveller. Carved with a tool made of the teeth of a dragon

Xyloid – woody; ligneous, living tree, manager of the Great Living Forests, where the treants live.

Ligna – wood in Latin

Energy of binding and releasing – not directly harming

Sacred sex – sacred prostitution – temple dancers – fertility rite, divine marriage, hieros gamos – sacred union, maithuna

Owl medicine – seeing behind masks

Gardeners, Harvesters, Ranchers – heard humans to greener pastures, make sure they do not overgraze,

Becoming a witness – no judgment, hone your receiver, attune to correct frequency, clear mind of static

Life purpose, soul path, soul family, past live connections, why you came back, what you still need to learn, hidden talents, blocks, relationships, manifesting

Carmen – song, poem, verse, poetry, prophecy, strain – singing oracle

 

Masts (meher baba) god-intoxicated souls consumed by their love of god, spiritual energies too much for them, lose contact with the world, shed normal human habits and customs, and civilized society, like in state of spiritual splendor, physical squalor. Drowned in their ecstasy. Only divine love embodied in a perfect master can reach them. Intoxicated, overpowered, slowed down (mad people sped up) connected to inner planes, absorbed, can only be of help to those who honor him.

 

character traits - elements - development

X = dream self is Animus

Animus channels different spirits (the pure vessel), the 4 elements, whom they invite into their body depending on the moment / environment they are embedded in and what memories or associations are called forth. Each element then interact with another, producing the Second Set and unlocking new abilities (more interaction with environment). Most other channels work with one spirit, two whom are compatible at most, because the energetic toll to be able to authentically manage two spirits in one body is immense to say the least. One has to remain extraordinarily clear in one’s intention, be of pure body/vessel, pay homage to the spirits, but not be attached to outcome (for difference between one’s own desire and that of the spirit results in high energetic inertia). One is acting as a conductor, or one who digs channels for the energy to run through with the least inertia without creating gates or walls to completely stop the flow (spirit energy easily rises above the possibility for containment for 3 most beings unless they are a Battery)

 

water

emotion, soothes, moistens, makes flexible

fire – balance, contains

allows access into emotions (air?)

enters Dream through ritualistic cleansing, rain, crying, sweating prayers, fog, mist,

empathy – is connector of all teammates, managing emotions, not attached to a particular way beyond that which respects each member

gazing into reflection, but not seeking to obliterate self in service to other

weakness: over-giving til the point of needing to be taken care of, secret bitterness of not being recognized or given back to in the same way/unequal exchange, drowning in own emotions or those of others, too easygoing

overcome: through speaking truth, becoming ice which can melt and flow on the outside, only a thin lubricating boundary rather than complete liquid that needs to be held by another and can flow in any direction (especially when deep earth ruts guide to a certain outcome through stubbornness/inertia).

 

Earth

Fuel, definition

water – contained, sense of holding, gives purpose in containment

fire – gives fuel

air – renders tangible

Meditates in cave, taps into Dream through cultivation of focus, stillness meditation, drumming – heartbeat of the world

 

Strength: grounded, nurturing, embracing

 

Fire

Inspiration, illumination, heat

Needs to be regulated by water or burns out

enters Dream through burning herbs, psychedelics, adrenaline, gazing into candle, campfire, stars

experiencing them: lovely and warm at first, wanting to be closer and then pushing away becomes too hot too quick and ends up hurting you unintentionally

strength: burns away falsehood, sears lies,

weakness: impulsive, quick to anger/passion, burning the candle at both ends, overexertion burned out, living fast, instant gratification

overcomes: through steady burn, ends up sacrificing self to become the sun forge

 

wind

movement

enters dream through breath, dance, movement meditation

weaknesses: flighty, hard to find and pin down, used to lightness and not wanting to make a big deal out of anything, doesn’t want to stay in issues to work through them.

 

spirit

lives in Dream, not tied through the physical realm except through mediums

Many in One : guides

 

Each primary character confronts their own death and sacrifices themselves to create the Second Born

Earth and water – mud, clay, coating (armor), protection – Lulum (loam, clay, mire, scavenge, sludge, mud)

Water and fire – steam, hot spring, purification

Water and wind – storm, fog, rain, hurricane, fortitude

Earth and fire – volcano, stone, crystal, crystallization, imbuing, medium

Earth and wind – cave, mountain, song, home, safe, grounded

Fire and wind -  meteor, dance,

Productive

Water – wood – fire – earth – metal - water

Destructive

Water – fire – metal – wood – earth – water

 

Produces

Wood – fire – earth – metal – water

Liver – heart – spleen – lung – kidney

Wood controls earth controls water controls fire controls metal controls wood

Liver controls spleen controls kidney controls heart controls lung controls liver

Control and promotion so everything is in balance